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Comments:
spook, we all take for granted how someone communicates emotions. It's a combination of body language, facial language and verbal skills. Each person has a different weighted balance of the three.
One last question... because I realize this post is huge. Through a ton of Google and (religious) self-help sites I came across a weekend conference/couples building session for married and engaged couples, that will have a session in our area. I've heard great things from people about this conference and how it has helped couples going through similar situations come out stronger and happier. He's ambivalent about it (his words: well by the end of March we might already be okay or not. My words: if we're ok, then it will make us even better. If anything it would be a great weekend getaway and a chance to stay in a hotel suite.) I'd be paying for it, again with my excess scholarship money. The finances are not an issue. But do conferences/workshops like this actually work?
How old are you?
Ask the question in the right place (the comment page), and you'll get an answer. (It should be obvious, it's so simple to realize.)
So amazing
the internet
I still have a loooong way to go, but without this board I know I'd still be settling for breadcrumbs and man-children.
No scammers please coz I can tell .
Hi thanks for your advice!
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IMO, yes its dysfunctional if youre doing it to fill/fix your emotional, mental, depression issues. Dysfunctional b/c those problems should be fixed in other, deeper ways....to actually FIX them. Not to cover them up for the time being.
Honestly I consider myself pretty personable and I know how to move a conversation along rather well, it's just I'm worried he's going to like expect something I'm not or something?! I don't know! I'm panicing already!
The problem here is that the two systems work against each other, your's and his, alienating the two of you from ever getting together. From my viewpoint, and as advice to you, you need to evaluate what the potential is here, and if you really want to entangle yourself with someone who communicates this way when there are problems in their life. Your system is less complicated, it's one that protects you until a person gain's your trust. In a relationship with this person, I'm wondering if you will simply be navigating a hop-scotch of various events where you are always the one responsible for making the first move, and basically doing all the work. Not to mention, did you want to be dragged in to all the family drama? In spite of his efforts, what goes on behind the scenes sends me the message he could be underhanded, why else would the brother's unfriend you other than he was talking to them....about you.